-I already mentioned Braylon Edwards’ ridiculous behavior on the field in the Jets victory over the Pats in our Week 2 analysis post. It seems he wasn’t done being a selfish dick when the game was over, as he got pulled over Monday night/Tuesday morning and arrested for DUI. Apparently, he was stopped for over-tinted windows and blew a 0.16 on the breathalyzer. Best part: the Jets (and virtually all NFL franchises) provide free 24-hour transportation to all players to prevent exactly this kind of thing. Now he’s sitting in the county jail, sharing a bar of soap with Plaxico, and I can’t imagine he’ll be prepared to practice and play at 100% this week. Again, how can his teammates tolerate this kind of shit? He obviously doesn’t give a crap about team goals, which is why the Browns traded him in the middle of last season. He only signed a one-year deal (for just over $6 million), so, barring a statistically phenomenal 2010, I expect his market value will drop in 2011.
-The Saints victory over the 49ers may have been Pyrrhic. Reggie Bush fractured his fibula diving on a loose ball after having trouble fielding a punt. He’s out 4-6 weeks. Earlier this week, he returned his 2005 Heisman trophy in an effort to avoid further media coverage. This has been the roughest week for Bush since John Holmes switched from straight porn to gay. The Saints offense has been anemic through two games, and losing Bush won’t help. Their next five games are Atlanta, Carolina, @Arizona, @Tampa, and Cleveland. That’s a pretty cushy stretch, although there are three division games in there. If the Saints can go 3-2 or 4-1 in those five games, they’ll be in good shape for Bush’s prospective return for a tough Halloween night game against the Steelers (with a reinstated Big Ben, assuming he keeps his dong to himself for a couple more weeks).
-The Broncos are cursed. They’ve had a horrible string of injuries in the preseason, and now they’re in an emotional tailspin with the apparent suicide of 2nd-year WR Kenny McKinley. His body was found Monday with what police are calling a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Man, no jokes here, just some sad-ass news. Lots of people have written about the incredibly early age of death and high rate of drug addiction and suicide in professional wrestling. With Chris Henry’s possible suicide last year, Steve McNair’s murder, and the increasing reports of dementia in retired NFL players (likely associated with repeated head injury), are we seeing some parallels between professional wrestling and professional football? The analogy to Roman gladiators has never been more apt.
-Looks like we’re seeing our first knee-jerk QB benching reactions after some poor Week 2 performances. Jimmy Clausen will replace Matt Moore in Carolina, and Fitzpatrick will replace Trent Edwards in Buffalo. This shit always kills me. These are two teams with poor running games, poor defense, and a lack of veteran leadership, and they think throwing young, inexperienced QBs into the mix is going to help? That’s like me drinking 14 pints of Guiness, 3 shots of Jameson’s, 6 Jack and Cokes, and eating three racks of ribs, then figuring I’ll sober up with a cigar. The cigar won’t help, it’ll only make me puke faster. And waste an expensive cigar. Moore and Edwards stink, but they know they stink, and losing a bunch more games this season isn’t going to change anything for them. These young replacements still have some confidence left over from successful college careers. Throwing them to the wolves to rack up 2-14 records filled with interceptions will kill that. Build the O-line and defense through the draft and trades, set the kids up to have success, then give them the reins. Otherwise, you’re just wasting the draft pick you used to acquire them in the first place. But coaches won’t do that, since they figure they have to have someone to blame, or they just act with try-anything desperation, because their own asses are always on the hot seat. It’s a lose-lose situation. Thank goodness Cleveland doesn’t have any of these issues. Fuck.
Juice, I like your analysis. The John Holmes reference was particularly clutch. I think my Saints will miss Reggie quite a bit, because even when he doesn't have the ball, he occupies so many defenders. When he does have the ball, Patrick Willis loses his jock. Hope the Boys can beat Atlanta this weekend in the Dome when I'm there losing my voice in support. Keep em coming.
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Good to hear from you, B. I agree 100% that one of Reggie's biggest contributions is forcing other defenses to spend all week scheming for him, or even having to commit a player to "spy" on him all game. The Saints will miss that, but you have to think their offense will improve over the next few weeks, since they've really underperformed so far! Don't think Dallas has much of a shot against the Birds, but it's early in the season, so who knows! PS- The Lynx just beat Wash U and Trinity in two weeks!!! Hell Yes!
ReplyDeleteTrent Edwards is terrible, but at least he doesn't throw pics. The only thing Fitzpatrick has going for him is his degree from Harvard. I'm not sure what good that will do, though, when his spinal column is wrapped around his neck midway through the next game.
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